Going Solo

Waving goodbye to Eric from the back of a pick-up truck, I had a premonition that my three solo weeks were going to be an adventure from the start. I didn’t know, however, that I was going to be more social in the three weeks alone than when I was with Eric. What I take away most from my solo travels is how many locals and travellers I met that left me with lasting impressions and in one case a close friendship that I hope is not fleeting.


Me, alone

I arrived in Ventienne, the serene capitol of Laos, after three hours on a comfortable air-conditioned bus. (By far one of the best bus rides I’ve taken this year, except for the 20-year-old Irish boy who fell asleep on my shoulder.) The scenery was beautiful - changing from large karst formations along the river to sprawling green rice fields. For the next few days I wandered around Ventienne, walking everywhere. One day I rented a pedal bike and went to retrieve my visa from the Cambodian embassy and go for a swim at a local pool. I have found a new love for bike riding and rented a bike many more times on my solo adventure.


The view from the top of “Patuxi” the miniature Arc de Triumph of Vientiene, built out of the cement the US donated to Laos to build a new airport runway. It is called the “vertical runway” by expats in Laos.

After swimming laps, the only other person at the pool befriended me and invited me to join him at the Wat next door for a traditional Laos sauna and massage. As we cruised over on our bikes I learned that he was a graduate student at the only university in Laos, studying women’s rights in Laos and the increasing problem of trafficking young women to China and Vietnam. There were three other people at the sauna, and we laughed when we realized we were all from the Bay Area. “Of course you’d find all the Bay area people getting saunas and massages,” the bartender from Van Kleef’s in Oakland joked.

I thanked my new Lao friend before he left for a basketball game, but he insisted it was his job to host visitors to his country and said he’d try to meet me for lunch at the vegetarian buffet (for $1) in town the next day. I never saw him again, but his relaxed, outgoing and genuine nature was reflcted in almost all of the Laos people I met. Life is slower here and the people seem less stressed and less busy than in other places I’ve travelled.

After five days in Ventienne I decided to take an overnight bus to Pakse and make my way to Don Det, a tiny island in southern Laos, part of Si Phan Don (the four thousand islands). Vered and Helen were already on the truck when I got on. I wanted to talk to them, but was waiting for the right moment. Helen didn’t hesitate to start the conversation and asked where I was going and if I was travelling alone. After finding out we were all headed in the same direction I felt excited that maybe I would have some new companions. Helen was from Scotland and travelling alone for some time. Vered was from Israel and had a few weeks to explore southern Laos and Cambodia before heading back to Bangkok. They had met a few days before on the bus to Ventienne.

Once our bus arrived in Pakse at 6 am we were approached by another bus driver to get a ride to Don Det. We were still half asleep and decision-making seemed very difficult. But after 20 minutes of debating we all decided to jump on the bus to Don Det and not waste any time. The bus dropped us off at a pier in the middle of nowhere, and pulled away quickly. Although the boat drivers were overcharging us, we had little choice and after waiting for 10 minutes - hoping others would arrive at the pier - we decided to pay $2 each for the ride to Don Det.


Amazing tree across from my bungalow in Don Det. I loved staring at this every day.

The rickety wooden longboat meandered through the swampy, muddy Mekong for about 30 minutes. We arrived - after 17 hours of travelling - on a sandy beach at the tip of the island. The three of us jumped out into the water, donned our backpacks and headed down the path to find the perfect bungalow with a comfortable hammock and river views.


This monkey was a pet to a local Laos family. It had an earring on its other ear. But this was the best face shot I took.

The pace slowed down even more in Don Det. Here, the Mekong River splits into many smaller rivers and waterfalls and is dotted with tiny islands rich in wildlife and lush vegetation. Don Det was a backpacker’s heaven - a quiet island with no electricity (except for nightime generators) and no cars. A respite from the outside world and nothing to do but doze in and out of sleep on your hammock after a bike ride to the waterfall.


View from the Sunset Bar in Don Det.

Sunset was spent every night, where else, but at the “Sunset Bar” drinking Lao-Lao mojitos with new friends from all over the world. (Lao Lao is homemade Lao rice whiskey.) We learned to order our drinks by 4:30 to ensure we would have them by 5:30 at sunset.


A fleeting glimpse of the endangered Irawaddy Dolphin of the Mekong.

The first day we rented bikes and cruised all over the island. Everywhere we went people greeted us with a bellowing “Sabaidee!” We’d reply back just as loud and with a large smile. The waterfalls we rode to were beautiful, but for me, the friendliness of the Laos people made the bigger impression. Helen and I took tubes down the Mekong one day with Na, our new Lao friend who had been a monk for seven years and now ran a small travel booth. On the painfully slow three-hour tubing journey I asked Na a million questions about his life as a monk and how Don Det has changed in the past few years because of tourism. He told me of his dream of building a restaurant with river views and unique food and asked me all about teaching and America. As we floated down the river we began to understand a little more about each other’s culture and country and started to joke with one another.


Monks at the river beach laughing at us in our bikinis.

After 5 days of chilling on Don Det, Vered and I headed to Cambodia (Helen had already left) to begin a new adventure. We journeyed to the border (a wooden hut in the forest) and made our way to Kratie via longtail boat, minivan, walking, minvan, ferry, and bus. Vered and I had become fast friends and realized by the time we left Don Det that sometimes you meet someone you feel you’ve known for a long time and it’s just “sababa” (Hebrew for cool). Although we were from different countries we had a lot in common, were clearly on the same wavelength, and wanted to travel at about the same speed. We had a great day exploring Kratie (northern Cambodian town) on bike with other Israeli travellers we met and seeing the endangered Irawaddy Dolphins of the Mekong (only about 100 are left in the world).


Vered and me at the rustic Cambodian/Laos border. Our friend Adam from Australia is making a funny face on my left.

Our friendship deepened as we shared a room together and watched “The Amber Frye Story” on HBO (about the Scott and Lacy Peterson Case), shared brownie ice cream sundaes, and taught each other new card games. We journeyed to Siem Reap together to explore the temples of Angkor Wat. We both wanted to see everything and planned three full days of discovering Angkor Wat from morning through sunset. At night we had vibrant discussions about topics ranging from fashion to the similarites of Buddhism and Judaism, and the current situation in Israel.


A statue at one of the temples of Angkor Wat

Angkor Wat was amazing and magical. Having a new friend to enjoy it with made it more memorable. She even convinced me to get up at 4 am one morning to see the sunrise!


Angkor Wat at sunrise. Wow!


The jungle taking over the ruins of the Ta Prohm temple at Angkor Wat. Amazing and magical!

So, I come away from my three “solo” weeks having seen amazing sights. But the feeling of connection to people, especially my new friend Vered, is my lasting memory. I had intended to be recluse and a hermit, have some quiet thinking time to myself. However, I have learned about being flexible this year and because of this flexibility I met many people by changing my plans on a whim. This created a real sense of adventure for me and instead of travelling alone I ended up surrounded by people. As Vered says, “Humans gravitate towards each other; we are truly social creatures at heart.”


Vered and me by an ancient tree.